Hello and welcome to my first blog on the subject of marriage and everything that goes with it.  There are some excellent blogs out there on the subject of matrimony that include advice, information on services such as wedding venues, bridal wear, stylists, photographers, video production and so forth…But I’m here to offer something a little different.  You may find the way I cover topics refreshing and exactly what you’re looking for.  Nothing ventured nothing gained as the saying goes

In this first post I’m going to share with you some thoughts on my experiences in marriage.  My hope is that this will set your feet firmly on the right path when planning your own journey into the world of marital bliss. 

Anyway enough introductions let’s begin.

Decided to Get Married

So you’ve made that momentous decision to marry.  Geez ay what a moment:  So many people with so many opinions as to what to do and what not to do.  So much advice on what makes a successful marriage and what doesn’t.  Some friends are deliriously happy with your announcement and some look as though they’ve eaten a lemon.

All I can say is well done.

There can be so much negativity surrounding the idea of marriage that no one could blame a person for being a little cynical and concluding the whole wedding nine yards is a bit of an indulgence that has no real meaning.

Well personally I think that’s a load of rot.  I’ve been happily married for over 28 years and sure it’s not always champagne and anyone who says it is has got some serious rocks in there head.  I married my best friend and soul mate and whenever I have a skull and cross bones moment I remember that and then I smile and move along.  Being married to my beautiful wife has made me a better person.  Hearing couples include that in their vows makes me want to assure them it is completely possible: 

Tweet: If you aim to be a better person in your marriage you will be.

Why Marriage?

I ask couples why they want to get married and the answers always make me smile.  There’s usually a lot of love in the air and a little goofiness as well, but there’s also such an obvious connection that it really warms the heart to see it.  On the other hand there can be awkwardness and sometimes it can also get next level weird, especially if the two people in question have never bothered to consider that particular point.  Generally though and, thank god, it’s usually all good and most people have clear and meaningful reasons for taking the next step. 

Tweet: Most people have clear and meaningful reasons to marry and love’s just one of them

The moment that gives pause though is when I ask each person in turn what they think life after the wedding is going to be like.

Let’s think about that one!

I don’t like to pigeon hole people or generalise too much, but for the sake of a simple explanation I’m going to.  Take these 3 couples for example.  They represent a reasonable cross section of the types of people I have met along the wedding planning journey.  As with all generalisations you will find you and your partner may not fit exactly into these couple types, but there may be a characteristic or two that rings the proverbial bell.

The Couple’s 3

Couple 1:  Have been dating for more than a year, have become engaged and are looking forward to wedded bliss.  This couple has not lived together, but have spent enough quality time in each other’s company they’re convinced they are good to go.

Couple 2:  Have been living together for over 2 - 5 years or more and have decided they would like to spend the rest of their lives together. They want to have a family and so forth and marriage seems to be the next logical step.  They know each other back to front and are used to the way each of them like to live their lives.  Most importantly, they are both happy with that and can see a solid future.

Couple 3:  This is the shotgun wedding couple.  Have been together for a while, but neither is thinking of marriage, but bada bing bada bang a baby is suddenly on the way and they are both a couple of romantics and think what the heck let’s get married.  What a couple of crazy kids, hey?

So who do you think will live happily ever other:  The loved up couple 1, the happily comfortable couple 2, or the romantic kids in couple 3?

So glad you asked! 

Fact:  There is nothing to suggest here they won’t all have long and happy marriages.  They have all made the mutual decision to marry and that, my friends, is an excellent first step.  Let’s face it a love that lasts forever can start at any time in any place in any circumstance, even in front of a zillion people on a Reality TV Show #TheBachelor, #TheBachelorette, #MarriedAtFirstSite

Tweet: Marriage is an excellent first step!

The reason, it’s not how you start it’s how you move forward that really counts.  A wedding is like a breath of fresh air in every relationship.  Once you take the plunge and commit you see each other in a new light. You really are now together forever and that, as a friend of mine once said, is a beautiful thing! 

Of course that dawning realisation has its own repercussions.  In some respects that reaction is basically 50/50.  You’re either going to want it or subconsciously start planning your escape.  The first will allow you to surmount any obstacle in your marriage and form the strongest of bonds the second will have you heading for the door and slamming it at the first sign of trouble.

Tweet: Being together forever is a beautiful thing and it doesn’t have to be complicated!

Rules to Matrimonial Bliss

 There are essential rules to living together in matrimonial bliss.  I call them, “Lou’s Rules for being Happily Married”.  Actually that’s a seriously terrible title for a set of rules:  Too long, over the top and completely unoriginal in every way.  So let’s do away with any kind of formal, cheesy heading and just call them something really nice and simple that just rolls off the tongue like, “Lou’s 10 Rules for a Blissful Marriage of Eternal Happiness and Joy”.  Now that is unbelievable cool and so easy to remember.  Talk about genius.  Love it!

No they’re not conventional but they are definitely 100% rules to live by.  Over the next few blogs I will be explaining just what these little bad boys mean and how they’ve helped me and the couples I admire keep that crazy little thing called loved alive.

Till then, just do it and get engaged or be more married than before, whichever or, whatever comes first.  Oh and if you’d like to grab a coffee, I’m always keen.  Hit me up at celebrant@loumazzulla.com.au or through my contact page.  Cheers!

 

 

 

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